it's been a long journey since you and I live together as one.
These past 5 years were tough. sometimes tougher than other times... I tried to kill you so many times until I gave up on you. I thought for awhile "fuck you and fuck who does not like you!"
"if you don't wanna see it don't look at my face".
I thought I could live with you and be happy. I even thought I had a really good self esteem since I could delete you on Photoshop.
But in real life, deep inside me, this was all a big lie I was putting in my head. I was living with these lies for a while and thought I was okay. I was living with all these lies for years, actually. But it came to a point that I wanted to kill you again after trying so many different products, trying to eat healthy, being active with my body, after trying to live with you and thinking I could be okay with that.
Well, I can't anymore and I am ready to let you go. Yesterday night, before I was going to sleep I tried this guided meditation that was specifically for people who suffers with acne and everything changed on my mind. Now, I look at you with love and I accept you with all my heart. So strange, right?
This meditation taught me to be grateful for you... yes! I am now grateful for you even tho you look disgusting.
Because of you I am learning so much more about myself. Because of you I am in this new journey where I'm seeking for my better self even deeper than I was before. I'm ready to change my thinking habits about myself, I'm ready to start new habits and I am so ready to love you before you leave forever.
Thank you, dear acne! ❤️
Self portrait from April
